Your Calling is Closer than You Think
What was I made for?
Your calling is closer than you think. For 36 years of my life I wondered what I was created for. I wondered why I was made the way I was made and what God wanted me to do with my life.
I tried so many different options. Every job opportunity built on the one before, and I learned so many skills, thinking, I’m headed somewhere. Not sure exactly where, but we’re headed somewhere. But nothing truly was fulfilling me.
For my whole life, I longed for a deeper purpose. I wanted to do something that would change things, affect other people’s lives in a positive way, and leave a legacy impact.
This year, God interrupted my life in a major way.
Come, Follow Me
This January, My husband Bo and I were watching The Chosen series when it hit me. When the disciples were called to follow Jesus, they didn’t go home and discuss it with their families. They didn’t spend 6 months wondering if it was the right decision and planning financially. They didn’t spend 10 more years working other jobs to prepare for ministry work. No, they literally dropped their nets, left their homes and communities behind, and immediately followed Jesus.
What a stunning example.
On the other hand, you have Nicodemus in the Bible who was a Jewish Pharisee, who secretly believed in Jesus, but never let go of his position–his job–to lay it all down and follow Jesus publicly. It’s believed that later he did, as he is one of the people who took Jesus’ body after the crucifixion, prepared it for burial, and placed it in the tomb. I wonder what blessings Nicodemus missed out on because he was too scared to follow Jesus. I wonder how much deeper his relationship with Jesus would have been if he had the courage and boldness to trust Jesus with his life.
It just kind of hit me. If I had to pick a path–I’d want to be a disciple of Jesus.
Uncovering My Calling
Fast forward to today, it’s like God replayed all these memories for me over my life. I thought back to every moment when I felt pulled toward ministry…
When I was 15, I wanted to be a missionary, but I thought I was too young and needed more life experience. In fact, I asked God to “Give me a good testimony to share.” Oh boy. That prayer was answered! Hah!
When I was 17, I did an Christian academic gap year program called Impact 360, which was like a mini seminary program that was accredited through Union University and founded by the Chick-fil-A Lifeshape Foundation. I spent a year of my life between high school and college trying to figure out who I was and who God is. My faith in God was solidified that year. I spent 6 weeks in Eastern Europe on a mission trip. The rest of the time, I studied Theology, Christian Apologetics, Christian Philosophy, Worldview studies, and more. Little did I know this would be the foundation upon which God would build my faith and ministry.
The next year, I headed to Savannah College of Art and Design, and I wanted to major in Film and Television Production. I love creative storytelling through media. It’s something I’ve been doing since I was a kid–making videos and putting on skits. But at 19, I got pregnant with my oldest daughter, so I moved back home. I thought my dreams had to die, because I had to put her first from then on. She was born, and I became a mom at 20 years old. I was not really sure where my life was going at that point as I was just trying to survive.
After a few tumultuous years getting through college while working two jobs with a baby–I was just so thankful to be done and have my bachelor’s degree from the University of West Georgia. Sadly, I didn’t make it back to SCAD. Toward the end of college, I quickly and very immaturely decided to get married, which led to a divorce just one year later. At that point, I was totally lost, broken, and devastated about my life.
So I moved to Birmingham, Alabama, where I got my first job. Trying to get my footing in my career, adjust to a new city, and start building a life, all while healing from trauma, was a challenge. I was just trying to find some stability as a single mom. My daughter was 4 at this time.
At 26, I went through a LIFE (Now called Freedom) group at Church of the Highlands. It was life-changing. I was healed from so much, but it really was the beginning of my inner healing. I started leading Freedom groups. I felt called to women’s ministry, I knew I had so much to share about what God had done in my heart and life, but I had to continue working to provide for us.
I met my husband Bo, and we got married when I was 29. So in total, I was a single mom for about 8 years. My daughter actually was the one who initiated the conversation between me and Bo at a WellHouse event one night. It’s funny how God uses everything in our story. Everything is woven together. Had I not had Molly Kate, I am convinced I wouldn’t be married to Bo today. And we have two more kids together!
From age 30-32, I worked at The WellHouse, a nonprofit organization that rescues and provides long-term residential therapeutic programs for women and teenage girls rescued from human trafficking. I strongly felt called into this ministry and have this huge heart for women and girls who have survived sexual trauma and relational brokenness. My son was born, and after two years, I resigned, but I didn’t stop serving. I’m still serving there. In fact, I’m going there today to bring a meal and play Mahjong with the teenagers at WellHouse child. My 17 year old daughter and her friends are coming too.
At 31, I started a blog, and I thought it would be a great way to have a creative outlet and share my faith, with hopes of reaching women who have been through really hard times in their life. And still, I had to provide for my family and keep a job, so I focused on building it up to be an interior decorating and renovation blog for the first five years. That morphed into a business that I still maintain today. Over the years, I’ve used my platform to share my faith, my story, and minister to hundreds of thousands of women, but I’ve only really just begun.
Called to Ministry
This year in January, age 36, I got a vivid picture in mind from the Lord about the next phase of ministry and how he wants to use me. This was during a special time I set aside to fast and pray over my life and people close to me. The details of the vision are too sacred to me to share, but the vision is clear: I am called to women’s ministry. It was confirmation of something I really knew deep down but hadn’t yet believed–that I’m set apart for kingdom work.
The crazy thing about this statement is–I never thought I’d be worthy of such a work. If you only knew half of my past, how insecure I used to be, and the mistakes I thought were too great…
And all this time, I have thought over the years to myself, “what is God calling me to do?” Now, looking back, I see he tried to get my attention over and over, and stir my heart into this for… well, pretty much my whole life! And in fact, I’m already doing my calling in so many ways right now, just not as a full time job. But that doesn’t make the work any less significant!
When I thought about Jesus’ disciples and their immediate answer to His call, I decided in my spirit: yes, Lord. I get it now. I’ll drop everything and follow you. Even if it’s inconvenient, even if it’s disruptive, even if it means I have to let go of my business, make less money, and miss out on so many other things. Even if it means some people won’t like me or agree with everything I say. I know who You are and what You’ve called me to do, and I trust you. God, I’m ready, let’s go!
Stay with me, and I’m going to tell you why this is important for your life. But first let me say this: all those years that it wasn’t revealed to me yet how to fully follow him, I know were still filled with purpose, learning and training. I was listening to a podcast by Kris Vallotton the other day, and he says that Moses didn’t become Moses the leader of the Israelites on his own. He became Moses in Pharaoh’s house. He watched how Pharaoh governed his people, and that’s where he learned. All of that time in Egypt was preparation for his calling.
See, nothing is wasted.
All that time, all those jobs and assignments, they were all preparation.
Uncovering Your Calling
If you stopped to think about it right now, are there any patterns or themes over the course of your life in which you see that God has pulled you in a direction? Maybe you went down that road but then pulled back? How many times did he stir that same desire in you? There’s a calling on your life, too. We all have one. You maybe haven’t seen it clearly–but I have a feeling that it’s right there in front of you. I believe your calling is closer than you think.
It may be full time ministry, but I’d say most of the time it’s not. It may be incorporating ministry and kingdom work into what you’re already doing. It may be serving and loving people through your work. We should all be doing that. But maybe there is something more God is calling you to do with your life you don’t expect. Maybe you haven’t even tapped into the gifts he’s placed inside of you. Maybe you’re longing to feel fulfilled in your work. Maybe it’s just time to say–okay God, I am ready to follow you–and see where He leads!
Now take a second and think about your natural and spiritual gifts– what has God placed inside of you? Has he given you an extraordinary ability to sing? To teach? Do you love gathering people and welcoming people into your home? To deeply connect with other people? Are you an eloquent public speaker? Are you inclined to give gifts as an act of love? Are you deeply moved when you see a homeless person, a widow, an orphan, or have an empathy in general toward others? Are you a connector of people? Are you gifted in business administration? Leadership?
All of these things are gifts that God has placed inside of you and are an indicator of the calling on your life. It might take a decades, like it did me, to fully realize and understand the way you are created and the purpose you are created for, but the best place to start is to notice yourself--what you’re inclined to do, the stirrings and passions inside of you, and your natural gifts and abilities. Assess the times in your life when you have felt so strongly led to do something for someone else, that seemed like an ability you had to bless other people in some way.
And once you start to notice these gifts–believe that God has given you these for a purpose. Believe Him when he says he is doing a mighty work through you. Believe in yourself, and know that he created you for such a time as this, and for a special purpose! Don’t discount and dismiss yourself as I did for so many years. Have the confidence that He created you perfectly, and in fact, you are his masterpiece.
Believe Him to fulfill the calling on your life. Your life is in His hands.
Stay tuned for my next post as I dive deeper into Spiritual gifts and how to discover and unlock them to gain a more clear understanding of your purpose and calling on your life!
God bless,
